from whipping out Christmas layouts yesterday...and I do mean whipping...like 15 minutes, slap down the photos, be barely creative, but try to write about a little memory and move on.
So on my break I made this 23 minute layout...which I swear 22 were spent stamping the title...that was too many words to stamp...I didn't journal, but there is a story...
I saw this quote the other day...I've seen it before, but this time it struck a chord for some reason...then there was yesterday...when Sean and I started to argue and I was mean to him even though my feelings were honest behind the anger and he shut down both in defense of himself and the fact that nothing gets to me more than him not talking to me...and then I took a deep breath (that took a half hour...it was a loooong breath) and told him the feelings and he almost responded in anger, but managed to put it aside just enough for us to have a long conversation a lot of which focused on perfection...and my need to achieve it...and that he thought it is unrealistic and fairly torturous...and that I actually know that but want to aim for it anyway...I always want things to be the best they can be, I'm compulsive, I revel in the details and ask him to do the same...which 98% of the time he's good at humoring and trying and then he's not and I get hurt and lash out and he lashes back...that's pretty much a summary of Nora and Sean fights 101...same shit, different day...then we have what I call the "come to Jesus talk" and recommit to dealing with it...with each other...we come to the conclusion that I'm not a complete and total unreasonable witch and he is actually trying even though we manage to forget that at least once every couple of months...or heck a couple of times a week if things are going especially badly. We're just damn lucky we manage to love each other through this argument...and were lucky that each couple of months or twice a week whatever it is we are getting better at listening and solving...not so much on the stubbornness that gets us there in the first place, but we'll get there. In the end I just want to be happy...and so does he...and we want to do that together...so the quote I saw the other day takes on new meaning...it means take a deep breath and choose to focus on everything we have going right instead of the few things we struggle with.
And now I guess I have journaled for that layout...I'll have to print out that rambling paragraph and stick it on the back for posterity's sake...so that there's no mistakening the fact that we fight...and thank good God make up.
Okay, you want to see my Christmas layouts? I just want these done...super simple...maybe one cute element like colorful mixed up letter stickers or three Santa stamps in a row and that's about it...so please don't judge my utter lack of creativity...also while we're not judging just go ahead and ignore the crappy photos because it's cloudy out and I pulled up the blinds to get enough light but am too lazy to take the pages out of the protectors so you see window reflection glaring on most of them...
So today's a big day...in approximately 70 minutes I get to register on-line for classes at CSUF...I have them all picked out and my fingers are crossed that there's room for me...then I get to hang out with Amber for the day...it's my turn to play tour guide since she was so good to Sean and I back in October.