It'll be the first day of Plan A or Plan B...and it seems an eternity away...I'm trying to wrap my mind around the fact that it's actually going to happen...because at this point it feels like it's never going to get here.
I try not to think about Plan A too much...it's pretty simple...a pregnancy...a child (or I guess children)...our dream come true...a complete family. As I wait everyone I talk to wants to check on how I'm feeling...and I have to admit it's crazy making...I could go there...you know the, "Oh, oh I was nauseous for a couple hours Tuesday afternoon" "Oh, oh wait a second, I think my breasts are kind of tender"...but I cannot emotionally afford to get wrapped up in it.
So instead it's thinking about Plan B...which are other dreams...finishing school and going on to get a master's degree...losing the rest of the weight (that I keep finding) and really getting back to lots of exercise...enjoying my time with Mac and Sean...having a cute guest room always ready for friends and family...we could plan trips...we can sleep through the night...have plenty of time to do what we enjoy...we could even buy a sports car. :)
Plan B is pretty appealing...the thought that I could have a diploma in my hands in just a few years blows my mind...the thought that I could have the type of body worthy of buying just one pair of those expensive jeans...the thought that I already have a perfect family...I have two amazing guys to love...if that ends up being my complete family I'm beyond blessed.
I just hope November 9th gets here soon...I'll spend November 8th reveling in whatever news the pregnancy test brings that day...but November 9th it's the start of something completely new...and that really appeals to me no matter what it is.
