Just Make Stuff

The most I've done...

since the party was over on Saturday was make this for dinner last night...

I spent the day in my pajamas until I started craving steak and potatoes...then I just put an apron on on top of my pajamas...tried my hand at making creamed spinach too...if I do say so myself, it was a pretty tasty dinner. :)

I have lots of pirate party photos to go through...and a few last leftover pirate things to straighten up around here...got my progesterone tested this morning and apparently my levels look great...pregnancy test is scheduled for 8:50am next Monday so we'll be on pins and needles until then.  Not too much else going on around here...except I'm anxiously awaiting Sean finishing up summer school this week and then we get a few weeks together...ALL day...EVERY day. :)  Got just a couple more little projects planned...oh and a vacation in a couple weeks.

Speaking of projects...here's the kitchen cabinet/desk tear-out finished product...loving all the space in the new pie-safe thing

Birthday boy photos coming sometime soon...

Ten years ago today...

I was freshly turned 20 year old...unmarried...college student...who was pregnant with twin boys by her high school boyfriend...except one of the twin boys had passed away a couple weeks before...and I was in pre-term labor...so I had spent the last couple of weeks in the hospital...everyday when I would wake up I didn't know if something would go wrong that day and I'd have to have my little boy...since we (including the doctor's) weren't quite sure if it was better for him to be in or out.

So, this Monday rolls around and they schedule me for a complete ultrasound, instead of the biophysical profiles I'd been having everyday...they get the results around 3pm and come to me...it turns out the ultrasound showed that Baby A hadn't grown much at all in the last two weeks since the twin demise...that's a sign that he probably isn't doing well, but what did I think?  After all they still weren't certain if little Baby A should be in or out. 

My mom and I decided it felt like it was time...everyone gathered at the hospital...I got prepped for surgery...granted the c-section was happening a few hours later than they originally wanted to schedule because I had had a late lunch of Taco Bell...after all, I didn't know then I was having a baby today.

I walked myself into the operating room and hopped up on the table...they started the epidural...they were nice enough to let my mom stay in there with me for it since I'm petrified of everything...there are people everywhere in the room since they had no idea how well this little Baby A would be making his way into the world...

But there he was...2 pounds 3.5 ounces...and wouldn't you know his apgars were 9 and 9...they still whisked him away to the NICU across the street, but he did great...never on a respirator and downgraded to the Level 2 nursery and back in the hospital within 24 hours.

I hate to admit this next part, but for the first few weeks I didn't really get the whole motherhood thing.  Here was this little baby that I got to open the window of the incubator and touch...and that was about it.  What was I supposed to do?  I'd watch my mom come in and animatedly tell him stories of the Radio Flyer wagon she would buy him one day and all the fun they'd have together.  Then there would be me...his mom...who didn't feel much of anything. 

I felt HORRIBLE...you know you're supposed to have a baby and birds sing and music swells and you're overcome with love...it hadn't happened...for weeks. 

Until one afternoon I walked into the nursery by myself to see him.  The nurse came over and took him out of the incubator and handed him to me. 

HIM

Not a baby wrapped in three blankets with ten cords...he only had about four cords and the blankets were piled on top of us together.  I finally felt my little baby boy and had my first moment of feeling like, "Maybe I am a mom".

I've been lucky enough to have that feeling a thousand more times with him.  He has been so patient with my shortcomings and so loving when I don't deserve it.  Secretly in my eyes he's magic...since he was that little two-pound baby he's had a way of captivating people...and I've gotten to watch it for the last ten years and I get to call him mine.

 

Productivity is better than...

procrastination...it's plenty fun to be lazy, but in the end just getting stuff done feels so much better.

The living room is done after re-arranging the wall 20 times...I'm not kidding...20 times...at least.  I'm happy now...fairly confident that it looks okay...or at least it looks they way I want it to look...whether it ACTUALLY looks good is a whole other story.  Here's the before and after shots <------------------------------

We got Mac's cupcakes made for his little school birthday celebration tomorrow.  Pirate stuff is organized and goody bags are made.  Six pounds of ground beef are de-frosting to make the sloppy-joes we're serving at the party...of course we NEED to come up with some pirate-y sounding name for them. :)

Tomorrow is crunch day though...the page long to-do list is sitting on the kitchen table ready to be tackled...

Don't have much to say...

just plugging along through the week...totally procrastinating on the pirate party preparations...I'm such a bad mom...I have almost no motivation to have this party for my darling, birthday-crazed, almost 10 year old...I keep dreaming of it being Saturday at about 5pm and it's all done. :)

Like I mentioned last week my main mode of procrastination is usually a little scrapbooking...just did this one this afternoon...super messy...I just kept stamping & sticking things down on the page.

We have friends coming over tonight because they are the nicest people ever and have offered to help...Brandon and Sean will finish the red rectangle project once and for all...Kristi and I will make pirate goody bags, stuff a treasure chest pinata with candy and get various party games organized...I've bribed them with dinner...some might say it's the least I could do.

In the meantime I'm going to take a little nap...all this procrastination has me exhausted. :)

To the future Griffin family member/s...

you're parents are dorks with a pretty crazy sense of humor...mainly your mom...she thought it would be funny to bring the camera along to this morning's insemination appointment...and then she takes photos like this...

Who can resist the sperm shot?  I couldn't...you know for posterity and all. :)

And here are the forementioned dorky parents while we were waiting after the insemination.  (not the most flattering photo we've ever taken)

We have to back for another insemination in the morning and after that it's the two week waiting game...

The Fair...

Some photos from our little trip to it last Tuesday night.  It would be so fun to get to scrapbook a couple of these at some point soon...I have a ton of stuff to do this week so that typically means I'll just procrastinate on all of it and play with paper and glue instead. :)

Nothing's finished...

...the kitchen cabinet re-organization odyssey isn't quite finished

...the crazy red rectangle re-decorating in the living room isn't finished

...getting stuff ready for Mac's party next Saturday isn't finished

...cleaning off my desk once and for all isn't finished

...the insemination isn't finished

It's all driving my a little crazy...everything's all fine & productive...everything is going well enough...but I just want it all done...preferably now.

I'll keep jumping from project to project and get them wrapped up...as for the science project everything looked good yesterday, follicle check #2 is in the morning, and hopefully we'll have a better idea if the insemination will be on Sunday, Monday or even Tuesday...

Have I mentioned, yet, how I want everything done? :)

I get to keep it...

Well, I get to keep it because I bought it...but I bought it for the kitchen...but over the weekend I just took it up to my room to see how storing some stamps would work in it...but I took back it back downstairs last night when we brought the pie safe into the house to finish up the kitchen project...and it didn't fit...too tall...so back up to my desk it went and I love it.

Speaking of the pie safe...it will change my life :)...I was just downstairs re-organizing with my new found space and am beyond thrilled by it...I'll take photos when I'm all done...almost there. 

Have I mentioned how much I'm looking forward to the house being back to normal?  It seems like projects just go way too slow for my instant gratification needs.

Other than that, all is well...the three of us went to the Orange County fair last night for a few hours...fried food and wandering through the exhibits. 

Sean and I have plans to go to Disneyland tonight...it was his idea...that way I can ride Space Mountain (hopefully) for the last time in a while...

I have my first follicle check in the morning and the insemination should be sometime this weekend...we're actually doing it...no pun intended :)...still trying to wrap my mind around it though...exciting and scary...and exciting!

Red...

Oh my goodness here it is...the first coat of the big red rectangle...I hope it works...I feel like I'm nuts, but honestly I really love it...it's just bold and different...it's more color which I can't seem to get enough of in the house.

We've had a quiet weekend...mostly house projects.  I did head out to lunch and some shopping with a couple of my neighbors yesterday...found some fun stuff for the kitchen...the cabinet/desk rip-out project in there is over half way done too...really looking forward to having my house back together sometime sooner than later.

Oh and last day of Clomid is tomorrow...yea! :)

It's getting hot in here...

so I'm not wearing any pants.

You wanted to know that, huh?  Let me explain...

Apparently Clomid=hot flashes

A very "what the f---?" moment for me last night when I started getting hot from the inside out. 

So tonight I'm sitting here scrapbooking...under a ceiling fan...with the AC going...sweating... I went downstairs to share my sweaty-ness with Sean and he teased me by pulling down my pants so I'd be cooler...not a bad idea so off they've stayed.

(This would be a good time to mention Mac's at his dad's house this weekend, huh?)

Oh here's the page I made...

Total randomness for the most part...have to admit I'm kind of proud of the photo...if you can see it among the schtuff I piled on for fun.  When I go to scan a page that's usually my time to scrutinize to see how it looks...I decide that I probably did half a dozen things wrong with it (in this case the MM red "R" rub-on is messed up, it's too busy--there's probably trapped white space glaring at the world, the words on the punched corner are upside down, the paper choices are competing with the photo too much those arrows on the bottom left look like they're coming out of nowhere) and then I just say to myself, "Oh well"...that's pretty much the summation of my creative process. :)

Listening to some oldies-ish I-pod fun and excitement...actually by saying "listening" I mean more like blasting (again Mac's at Bryce's..but then again I'll blast it when he's home too)...just a little good (somewhat cheesy at times) stuff like, "Sugar Pie Honey Bunch" (Four Tops), "Lovely Day" (Bill Withers), "Do You Love Me?" (Contours), "Cherry Cherry" (Neil Diamond), "Beyond The Sea" (Bobby Darin), "Copacabana" (Barry Manilow), "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do" (Neil Sadaka), "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" (Stevie Wonder), "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" (Queen), "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" (Wham), "Sweet Home Alabama" (Lynyrd Skynyrd), "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" (The Temptations), "Piano Man" (Billy Joel), "Take A Chance On Me" (ABBA).

I'm sure it's sounding like a GOOD time in the Griffin household this sweaty, rocking Friday night, huh?

Crazy Idea #643...

So, remember the food storage/kitchen re-organization project I mentioned several days ago?  Well, in typical Nora fashion it's turned into a whole big project...granted it's something that I've wanted to do for years and now we're actually doing it.  This is the desk in our kitchen and later today Sean is ripping it out...oh and the cabinet above it.  It's being replaced with a pie safe armoire with punched tin panels...SO cute...kind of nontraditional and just another one of my crazy ideas...I'll update with photos when it's all said and done...hopefully that will be soon.

On the fertility front the doctor proclaimed my ovaries as "beautiful" yesterday at my initial ultrasound...I start taking Clomid this morning...just what I need--more hormones. :)

Here goes nothing...

It started...my period...too much information I know...and not my usual blog banter, but this means that IT ALL is starting...today...it's day one of my cycle and the last couple of days that my body will be just mine...after that it's fertility drugs and follicle checks and inseminations and progesterone tests and then the big one...am I pregnant?

I am soooooo scared...it kind of feels like my life is over if I really want to be overly dramatic...I guess if I had a good pregnancy as my touchstone I'd just be excited...but if I take ten years ago as an example then I'm already doing the math in my head..."Okay so I'll be sick as a dog for the first four months...then I'll feel pretty good for two or three and then I'll be on bed-rest until I'm done and then we'll have a baby/babies and I'll be busy forever." 

So, instead I'll redirect (a therapeutic term I've picked up from my mom over the years) and tell myself, "Every pregnancy is different...you're in a good place for this...it's not like your a single twenty year old expecting twins now...it's going to be good...it's going to be okay."

But I keep talking about the fear because I have to get it out...I'm not one to hold it in...it's ten years worth of fear at this point and I'm desperate for it not to overshadow all the joy to be had.  Take my non-risk-taking, obsessive-worrying, freak-a-zoid ass and forge ahead.  Women do this everyday and I'm no different.  I'll do it right this time...as right as I can...I know more...I'm a little stronger...and a tad bit wiser.

I guess it's time to get on the roller-coaster again...except this one has stirrups..ha ha...

It's all in the name of finding my family...our family...that part I CANNOT wait for.

The haul...

 

Making stuff...

Have been making stuff all week...scrapbook layouts...Mac's pirate party invitations...thank you notes...a new little banner...more scrapbook layouts...and a little collaged canvas...it's been so nice to create...and make a mess on my desk...then clean it up...then make a mess all over again...the vicious creative cycle. :)

I have two more orders of photos en-route to me from Costco.com (already received one today)--my new favorite thing to do is order photos on-line and have them shipped for free.  I have SO much scrapping to do...which is a great problem to have. :)  Also heading to Carson for the rubber stamp convention so hopefully I'll come home with more stuff to make stuff with.

So much on my mind...

All good stuff for the most part...just in one of those want to accomplish 1,000,000 things mood.  I want to make stuff, re-organize stuff, cook stuff, clean stuff, plan stuff and just altogether finish everything up...maybe I'm started to nest before I even get pregnant...

Speaking of which...I officially ordered the sperm this morning (just a typical day, right?)...it arrives at the doctor's office next week when all the cycle fun and excitement kicks off...I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that we're doing this...I'm excited, but in typical obsessive worrier form, fairly terrorized by the thought of the whole thing...deep breaths & good thoughts. 

So Mac ------------------------------> he started summer school yesterday at the new school...here he is in a uniform for the first time in his life...they can wear khaki or navy shorts/pants and any plain colored polo they want...let me tell you it's TOTALLY cramping his fashionista style...poor kid...other than the imposition on his attire he loves it.

So, back to projects...my brainstorm yesterday was rearranging our kitchen cabinets and pantry in an attempt to discover the optimal food storage capabilities of our cupboards.

I'm SUCH a nerd...

50 people...

that's how many I counted up at the party as we all gathered watching fireworks, sipping on rootbeer floats, and listening to our stereo blast out my mom's endless patriotic music collection from her I-pod...such a great celebration...we actually held the party in our next door neighbor's yard since he had plenty of shade...we showed up on his doorstep at 2pm to ask if it'd be okay and thankfully he said yes. :)

We had 3 barbeque's going...a blow up pool...a beautiful flag cake...way too much food...a successful basketball game in the middle of the street...and a consensus that this should become an annual event.

Block party...

So last Wednesday night at Camp after our field-trip to Disneyland I ended up on dorm duty for the boys dorm to help out a little...not a problem because I brought a big old stack of magazines with me...as I sit there flipping through the recent issue of Better Homes & Gardens I see all the CUTE 4th of July recipes and decorations so I pick up my cell phone and call my neighbor Macie to see if she and her family are busy on the 4th, "Nope?" "Cool...you want to plan a block party?  We're at Camp, but we'll be home at the end of the week...thanks Mace!" 

I call her Sunday morning to check in and it's done...everyone in front of our house...bring your own meat to BBQ and a side dish to share...maybe a neighborhood basketball game after dinner and before fireworks.  Is that a great neighborhood or what?  So this morning Sean made homemade vanilla ice-cream for rootbeer floats...we made ten pounds of potato salad and I emptied out underneath our bar to put together this colorful conglomeration of leftover party supplies...not being a very good hostess since I don't have all cute matching 4th of July plates and napkins, but something tells me I'm the only one that cares.  Sean has pulled out every card table we have stored (I think it's like 8...they were on clearance at Target once and I convinced Sean we need them all for when we throw parties) and almost every chair around the house...we're as ready to party as we'll ever be!

Happy 4th of July! :)

Recovering...

We got back from Camp on Saturday and have been recovering from the sleep deprivation and cleaning up our messy house.

Minus the heat (104' at Disneyland on Wednesday...and all week long it seemed) everything was perfect.  The journals were all masterpieces...LOVE seeing everybody create their special touches.  Mac had a great time...stayed up most nights with us until 1:00am+ for the most part..he caught a nap here and there. 

I loaded a lot of photos to share the week...a bunch of journal...my favorite is catching those glue-stick action shots...there's the dance where Sean caught moments like everyone doing the Macarena and YMCA...having fun at Disneyland & trying to stay cool...and the now annual glue-stick toss we have with all the dried up dead ones...this time we held it the very last night as festivities were wrapping up just after 3am and, yes, Mac woke up for it just in time and was rearing to go.

Here they are...Camp...just looking at them has me missing everyone already...

So, onto July...BIG month around here...we have Mac's 10th birthday party (thankfully a pirate theme to coincide with Camp and all the leftover supplies) and that little artificial insemination project in a few weeks...