is soooo not the charm. We had a horrible day. A stressful, no good, heartbreaking day. In the end the baby is fine and technically Roxana is fine. I'll do my best to share, but to be honest I'm just exhausted from this.
We had the midwife appointment this morning...dilated and effaced about the same...but she decided to send us to the hospital since Roxana was reporting decreased fetal movement over the last couple of days.
We get to the hospital for the third time...totally at ease and joking around...just going to get the baby monitored and go have lunch at CPK. The nurse struggled to find the heartbeat so she brought in the ultrasound machine...I had a momentary silent panic within myself, but then her heartbeat was right there in front of us...it's all good...except amniotic fluid is looking a little low. Midwife comes in and decides that the fluid is borderline and since she's 39 weeks we'll go ahead and induce. We'll have the baby...we were in disbelief...both nervous but happy...calling the people that needed to be called...get settled in labor and delivery...get an IV started. Then the OBGYN comes in and expresses her concern that Roxana's due date is so up in the air since there is no last menstrual period to go off of and no early-on ultrasound to get definitive dates. Technically it could be anywhere from 37 weeks to 41. She re-checked the fluid and said it really looked normal and she couldn't see a reason to take the chance of possibly delivering a 37 week baby.
Looooong story short she sent us home. Roxana was done...sobbing done...she had to ride the worst of emotional roller-coasters today and for Christ's sake the poor girl is 17...17 and away from home, from her mom, from her life. She's been such a trooper but enough is enough.
It came down to liability...what would happen if they induced the delivery and there was some complication in the nursery...the doctor wouldn't have good reason to give an interrogating lawyer as to why she induced Roxana. Maybe my 2-pound, 10 week early son has me jaded as to the world of premature babies, but last time I checked 37 is no big deal.
So, clearly I'm upset. I just couldn't stand to see this girl so beside herself...and it was so hard to try to reason with the doctor...I understand her point...I see both sides of this clearly...I'm whole heartily invested in both sides...but in my heart of hearts I know Darby was safe and fine and Roxana was not and I couldn't brainstorm anything to do to make it better.
I did get to meet her mom today...and her mom's best friend who conveniently is a Douala. What wonderful, dear women...these are just people I want to know forever. Her mom and I just hugged each other in tears...I just want her to know how much I love her daughter.
I called a little bit ago to check on Roxana and apparently her mom and Asela (the Douala) took her back to the hospital to check again since Roxana's had some bleeding...no real surprise having had three cervical checks earlier today. They, of course, are being sent back home, but I'm glad Roxana got another chance to see if the baby's okay and a chance for Asela to try and convince the hospital.
Unbelievably enough I have so much more to say...peppered with frustration-induced expletives...but I'll leave it at this for now.
If you have any prayers for Roxana she needs them tonight. Please pray she has some comfort and rest. We have a non-stress-test tomorrow at 1pm...the, now excruciating, waiting game continues...
