that would be me...just about all day. It's my turn turn to be like a little girl who lost her baby doll...except I'm a bully and I'm ready to take it out on anyone who comes any where near me.
I've been throwing fits all day and have been altogether completely incapable. I am SO unbelievably upset that Darby is sitting in foster care and will be there for at least one more solid week. Unless Roxana chooses to take her back before. Otherwise she'll get to re-sign all the paperwork next Wednesday...it'll be over-nighted to Social Services on Thursday and they will probably sit on their asses until sometime the following week. IF I get my daughter back...IF...she'll be almost a month old. Thanks for that lost time...I'm freaking mourning the lost time before I even have the chance to have my daughter...how crazy is that? How crazed do I sound?
You know what's stupid...CKU San Jose registration was an hour ago. I had really wanted to go and take Ali Edwards album track. I have so many friends going and I was looking forward to spending time with them. Sean was more than willing to take care of everything so I could go. Yet I was so busy decompensating that I missed signing up by over 30 minutes and didn't get into one class or event I wanted.
Am I reasonable about this? No, I yell like a spoiled child that I don't get to have ANYTHING I want. Mind you I'm yelling this to my patient, loving, equally-suffering husband who just wants to help. Then I tell him I just need him to leave me alone. I'm a real bitch.
I am SO mad and hurt and most of all soooo freaking DONE.
So, I'm venting here...then I'll go apologize again even though he kindly told me I don't have to. Then we'll probably go for a walk, come back maybe watch some television and try to ignore the fact that I'm a whirling dervish of psychotic shit at this point.
Sorry to have to subject you to all of this...how strong and caring and wonderful (and all the other overly kind words that you've had for me) do I sound now? Seriously.
Heaven help me...
