Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, I am fat. Yes, fat. Pretty darn fat. Today I weigh over forty pounds more than what I weighed when I delivered McIntosh. I outweigh my husband by thirty pounds. I look like I'm easily four months pregnant. My back and neck hurt. I have less energy. I'm not sleeping as well. I feel like I'm ten days away from turning 80 instead of ten days away from turning 29. No one can find any veins on me to draw blood from. (I was saying that to my mom today, telling her I just don't understand what changed. I used to never had any problems getting blood drawn. Now they have to study both my arms desperately looking for a vein. She, ever so gently, explained that it just might be my little weight gain.) Anyways, back to fat...I am sick of it. SICK OF IT. Done. Finished. Am I making it clear? :)
So, what am I going to do? First I'm going to post this and make myself accountable to the world. Next I'm going to take my new found time in the morning to exercise. I'm going to be more vigilant about going for walks at night with Sean and Mac or the dogs. I'm going to make myself a "skinny" file and fill it with pictures from catalogs of stuff I want to fit into. I'm going to drink and drink and drink some more water. I'm going to eat yogurt and cottage cheese for lunch. I'm going to make dinners instead of fast food and fried everything. I'm going to choose that feeling better is more important than giving into a stress craving.
Now granted it's a goal of ours to get me in a physical state that's going to make my stomach grow a lot bigger but I sure as hell can get some work done before we get to that point and then continue through pregnancy to be healthy, flexible and strong.
I bought this shirt last night at J.Jill. It fit, but it did not look pretty...my goal is by the end of June to be wearing this. Granted it won't be with a with a flat stomach but it will be with a body that has more endurance, better posture, more relaxed. It's going to be hanging in my bedroom up until that day as a reminder that for God's sake I have to do something. That I CAN do something...