Just Make Stuff

jack shit...

I debated substituting an astr*ck as to not really spell shit but then I decided to go with the, "it's my blog and I'll cuss if I want to" theory.  This would probably be a good time to bring up that I have a little cussing problem...but who the f*ck cares? 

Sorry, I couldn't resist that one...nor could I bring myself to really spell f*ck. :)

Anyways...

The whole point of this entry, not there is really much of a point, is that I got jack shit done today.  In fact, writing a blog entry is one of the most productive things I've accomplished.  The other is I sort of cleaned my desk.  Right now it's looking like this...earlier it was 10 times worst.  A few shopping trips hadn't been put away yet and I never cleaned up after the two layouts I made Thursday night...both of which equated to a good sized disaster area. 

What's left on there are Foofala tags that need a home that I haven't decided on yet.  There's photography notes I need to type into my palm pilot.  A layout I wasn't crazy about that's maybe a little better now that I figured I use one of my new Foofala tags on it.  Kelly green cardstock that I was going to try to make some, hopefully cute, pink and green thank you notes with.  Finally there's the pile of patterned paper scraps, from the fore-mentioned layouts, that need to be put away. 

So, I guess that's now all part of my to-do list for tomorrow.  It's a doubled edged sword this whole doing jack shit thing...it's kind of indulgent and fun, but then it's kind of guilt provoking and stressful that nothing got done. 

I'm off to bed...I'm guessing when I get up in the morning I'll be thinking, "Why exactly did I feel the need to ramble needlessly like that on my blog???" & "Why, oh why, did I let myself cuss so much???"  :)

Oh well, goodnight.

I've got some friends...

When I went to school at the University of Redlands I had GREAT girlfriends.  Witty and creative, caring and fun.  We would have the best times together just hanging out, being silly.  Then life took over and we scattered...Peace Corp. in Tonga, military training to become an interrogator, getting married...we're all over now.  We still keep in touch, pen-pals, occasional phones calls, e-mails, and visits.  We're the type of friends that effortlessly pick up where we left off but it's still not the same special time we spent together, seeing each other every day, really a part of each others lives.

Since, living in Redlands I've never really found that again.  I have friends.  Sean and I have a deep friendship within our marriage...there's no one I'd rather tell every last little thing to and just be with.  I love hanging out with my Mom and her friends.  I grew close to everyone I worked with at school.  I have great neighbors.  I have one really, really good friend here.  We met when we both worked at Foothill and have had such a connection...she's like my family now.  Any day now I'm going to be in the delivery room with her and her husband to see her daughter come into this world and I cannot wait. 

Yet, I've still yearned for more friends...I like to have as many as I can. :)  There is just something about girlfriends that's just about magical to me.  Nothing is more fun and relaxing then hanging out with a friend.  Just communication in general, laughing, sharing frustrations, telling stories.

I think that's why the friends I've made lately through scrapbooking and this whole on-line world in general mean so much to me.  You all know who you are.  Some e-mail back and forth, some instant message, some stay up late on the phone, some I'll go hang out with later today. 

I really, truly have felt so blessed to have this come into my life recently.  I feel like I have that daily camaraderie back that I have missed so much.  The no big deal stuff that adds up to being a very big deal.

So thank you, thank you for every last little thing.  For your time, and telling stories, and sharing frustrations, and laughter...especially laughter.  For caring about me and letting me care about you.  Thanks for being my friend...

Boy oh Boy!!!

I was going to post about my perseverance through my relentless cravings for McDonald's this afternoon...and that I exercised this morning, then walked tonight and did weights.  I drank a gallon of water.  My only shortfall was eating some Thin Mints, but hey, last week I would have gobbled them down without a second thought.  So, slowly but surely, I'm getting there, but blah...blah...blah...

I have better news now :)

Cat's Life Press has new stamps!!!! 

I am soooo excited.  The best part is the 29th birthday on Monday, that up till now I've been kind of dreading, means that my all too awesome husband said I could order what I wanted as a gift from him.  Granted it wasn't exactly a gift he was planning on, but I guess he couldn't resist the happy dance I was doing when I saw the new images...I'm such a dork--I was literally out of my chair jumping up and down.  I know it's ridiculously materialistic of me to be so over the moon about this...but oh how I love these stamps!!  :)

The first 12 frickin' minutes

I'm not kidding when I say I wake up when Mac is downstairs yelling, "The bus is here!!!". 

I know, I'm a bad mom...but I'm lucky that Sean gets him ready in the morning and all I have to do is walk him to the curb and kiss him goodbye, since I am SO NOT a morning person.

Granted this usually all runs smoothly but then there was this morning...

--"Mom, the bus is here!!!!" Um, it's 7:00am on the dot...the bus is EARLY

--Mac is dressed in some conglomeration of his closet...apparently he decided it was layering day and has an Old Navy Saint Patrick's Day t-shirt over a yellow sweater...great.

--as we walk out to the bus he's telling me about being nervous about the "big test" (standardized testing is this week at his school)

--as he gets buckled into his seat he exclaims, "Oh no! My glasses!"  So, I go back in the house to get them out of his room.

--as I come back downstairs I see that Mac barely ate his breakfast that's left on the kitchen table

--I go back outside, climb into the bus to give him his glasses and let him know he's in trouble for not eating his breakfast again

--I get off the bus and start to wave, blowing kisses, sign "I love you", as we ALWAYS do.  He crosses his arms over his chest and glares at me

--I come inside the house and go to the bathroom...I know TMI, but all the water I'm drinking has me going in there all too often.  While I'm in there the phone rings...I know it's Sean calling to wake me up

--I crawl back in bed and grab my laptop

--the phone rings...it's Sean again...I turn on the speaker phone and answer, "Sorry, I was in the bathroom."

--it's not Sean

--"Hi, is Sean there?  This is Elaine from school."  After my first second freaking out that something happened and he didn't make it to school, I learn that Elaine is the librarian and needs to know if Sean asked to be in the library today, or is it tomorrow?  She has an 8:30am meeting at the district...blah, blah, blah...I tell her that Sean's already at school but she asks me to call him on his cellphone and give him her home phone number...I'm just praying she didn't hear the way I answered the phone

--couldn't find any paper or a pen to write down her phone number...Sean's cleaning out his nightstand drawers when he gets home

So, that's the first 12 minutes of my day...maybe I should just go back to sleep :)

Bliss...

What, huh?  Good news?  Wait, is this really Nora's blog?  :)  Why, yes, yes it is. 

I am happy. 

I had a perfect day with Sean yesterday...sat in the front yard in my pajamas and took pictures of the dogs.  Hung around in bed in the middle of the afternoon.  Dug through my little pile of paperwork and got it all handled.  Printed a bunch of pictures to scrapbook.  We went on two walks also.  Perfect day.

Then today, my first day at home...was great.  Slept in a little...because I can...and because the bus will be here early tomorrow so I figured take advantage of it.  I exercised for almost an hour, drank a ton of water, got stuff done around the house.  When I picked up Mac I felt relaxed, not drained as I usually do.  We went for a walk tonight and I scrapped three pages. 

All is blissfully well and I'm ever so grateful for that.

Week in review...

So I was thinking about my posts this past week and thought I 'd put together a little wrap-up of what I've discussed...

1. My not-the-greatest father has procreated in the twilight of his life

2. I'm fearful and neurotic about submitting my work to magazines

3. I'm heart broken over leaving my job

4. I'm fat

Wow...happy thoughts all over the place.  Why is anyone reading this?  You know you go to other peoples blogs and learn new things, laugh, feel a connection, read interesting perspectives.  Well, come on over to Nora's blog--depression central.  If you felt good when you got here, don't worry I'm discussing something dismal to insure you feel like crap when you leave. :) I'm like Debbie-downer on Saturday Night Live.

Thanks for hanging in there with me...hopefully I can do better next week. ;)

I have an anouncement...

Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, I am fat.  Yes, fat.  Pretty darn fat.  Today I weigh over forty pounds more than what I weighed when I delivered McIntosh.  I outweigh my husband by thirty pounds.  I look like I'm easily four months pregnant.  My back and neck hurt.  I have less energy. I'm not sleeping as well.  I feel like I'm ten days away from turning 80 instead of ten days away from turning 29.  No one can find any veins on me to draw blood from. (I was saying that to my mom today, telling her I just don't understand what changed.  I used to never had any problems getting blood drawn.  Now they have to study both my arms desperately looking for a vein.  She, ever so gently, explained that it just might be my little weight gain.) Anyways, back to fat...I am sick of it.  SICK OF IT.  Done.  Finished.  Am I making it clear? :)

So, what am I going to do?  First I'm going to post this and make myself accountable to the world.  Next I'm going to take my new found time in the morning to exercise.  I'm going to be more vigilant about going for walks at night with Sean and Mac or the dogs.  I'm going to make myself a "skinny" file and fill it with pictures from catalogs of stuff I want to fit into.  I'm going to drink and drink and drink some more water.  I'm going to eat yogurt and cottage cheese for lunch.  I'm going to make dinners instead of fast food and fried everything.  I'm going to choose that feeling better is more important than giving into a stress craving.

Now granted it's a goal of ours to get me in a physical state that's going to make my stomach grow a lot bigger but I sure as hell can get some work done before we get to that point and then continue through pregnancy to be healthy, flexible and strong. 

I bought this shirt last night at J.Jill.  It fit, but it did not look pretty...my goal is by the end of June to be wearing this.  Granted it won't be with a with a flat stomach but it will be with a body that has more endurance, better posture, more relaxed.  It's going to be hanging in my bedroom up until that day as a reminder that for God's sake I have to do something.  That I CAN do something...

Okay...

I walked up these steps for the last time on my way into work...

I was called up to the front office during third period to get this huge arrangement of flowers Sean sent to me.  He asked the florist to use my favorite flower, gerbera daisies and to make it colorful.  Little did he know it'd be over two feet tall! :)  I still can't get over how caring and thoughtful he's been about all of this.

I hung out with these kids for the last time today and we said our goodbyes as they walked out the door to lunch.

               

I cried on the way to work and had tears in my eyes every time I hugged someone.  However, as I walked back down those stairs to leave I was okay...my heart wasn't nearly as heavy. I knew I was doing the right thing and was so grateful for the fact I felt okay.

Heavy Heart...

Pass me some kleenex please because I've felt like I'm on the verge of tears for the last hour.

I've been purging & organizing.

What?  Four years worth of high school class notes.  Sophomore English, Junior History, Junior English...it just goes on.  I've thrown away old school year schedules, passes to the nurses office, copies of the referrals I've had to write students over the years.  Okay, now I'm crying.  I've cleaned out the four binders I've used over the years, including the covers I made each September, which are in the picture.  I've organized 100's of pages of notes into two binders to take to work tomorrow and leave behind so that they may be used as a reference in the future.

I'm leaving my job.  Tomorrow's my last day.  After over two months of thinking about it, Sean helped me decide that it's in my best interest to take a leave of absence for the rest of this school years and, God willing, if I get pregnant I won't go back.

It's what I want.  This entire school year has been a stressful mess.  The camaraderie we used to have as a department full of teachers and aides that are all friends has been so painfully strained.  A bunch of different little things account for it and now it seems everyone as settled into not really talking to each other beyond the basic necessities.  Working with special education you need all the help you can get...especially when it's teenagers.  You need support and it just hasn't been there. 

Then there are my kids...MY kids.  They are such a challenge and can be so stubborn and blatantly disrespectful but I love them.  Love them.  Cry at the thought of leaving them.  Yesterday I had to argue with one of them for over 20 minutes about a huge history assignment.  He ended up kicking a desk in anger and had to be sent up to the office.  This is while I'm trying to help keep the rest of the class keep on task and run back & forth to the library checking on the students from our class that were supposed to be doing school work in there...not looking at various websites about music and cars.  I still absolutely care and adore each one of them.  I love knowing about them, their families, their interests.  Hanging out if there's no school work to do...joking around and laughing with them is just the best thing ever.  They were teasing me that, since I'll be gone, they're going to call me from their cell phones while they are in class so I can listen and take notes on the teacher's lecture for them still.  They all want to know why I'm leaving and if I'm coming back.  When I toll them I might not be back they said I have to come visit and make sure to attend their graduation next year. Okay, now I'm really crying.

I know I'm going on and on about this but I have to get it out.  I need to stay home right now.  I need to take care of me.  I need to figure out some way to be the pinnacle of peace and relaxation so that my body can go through all the fun and excitement of in-vitro successfully...no matter if we do it in May or July, I need to take the time now. 

It's just going to kill me to walk in and out of that school tomorrow.  I've being doing it for over four years and can't imagine that it's over.  I knew for the last couple years I would dread leaving and starting the next chapter of my life...and tomorrow's time to turn the page.  It'll be the truest form of bittersweet I've ever known.

I think I can...I think I can

Submitting...it's a scary word to me.

I haven't done it much.  It seems I know little to nothing about it in many ways. 

I've  heard over the last year about magazines having different calls for things and every once in awhile I'd send something in, but never really get a call. 

I recently learned about the world of re-sizing layouts(thanks again Cheryl)...so now when they say "files must be under 100 KB" those words aren't quite as elusive as they previously were...all the while I'd be ignorantly sending in a layout with an enormous file size.  Oh well, live and learn...and hopefully I've started to a little.

Next is tackling the concept of sending in most of the layouts I make to the magazines as general submissions...not waiting to hear what they're specifically requesting.  I need the resolve in my crazy head that it isn't a pompous thing to do...I don't know why it strikes me as saying to the magazines, "I am so good that I just had to send you this layout for no particular reason at all".  It's more along the lines that magazine editors aren't going to know what I make unless I show them.  They're not coming to my doorstep anytime soon asking to see what I've got sitting on my desk...I've got to go to them.

Another neurosis of mine... creating FOR the chance of being published. Thinking along the lines of composition, current products, specific style...blah, blah, blah...you know, all the stuff that makes for a good publishable scrapbook layout?  Can't bring myself to do it. 

I'm crazy scrapbooking girl. My mantra is, "there are no rules in scrapbooking".  I'm random, I'm off balance, I pair together heinous combos of patterned paper because I just like them.

My motivation in this whole scrappin' endeavor is to create what's in my heart & soul, then leave it for whoever is interested.  I can't imagine magazines are going to be terribly receptive to what I come up with operating on these terms...but I don't want to change anything to make my chances for publication better...but then, if I have no chance, why submit? 

Fun, huh?  Have I ever mentioned I'm nuts?  That I can worry with the best of them? 

So, here's my point.  The page with a the picture of Mac I made for the Simple Scrapbooks Scheme call.  I randomly took this picture of Mac last Friday afternoon when I was in the garage snapping a quick shot of Sean washing my car for my blog entry that day.  The layout is probably un-balanced & the colors of the embellishments don't really match but...I SENT IT IN.  I just did it...submitted.  We'll see if they like it, because I sure did. :)

The layout with Shamrock was completely gratuitous...just for fun.  It was the first picture sitting at the top of my pile. I went to the Art Bar this past Sunday and most of the stuff I used on the layout was still sitting on my desk since I'd yet to put it away.  It doesn't match.  I used the green cardstock just because I liked it...because it was fun to use it.  You want to know something?  I SUBMITTED IT.  To the PaperKuts Pet Call...it was the last day and I figured what the heck.  By the way, Shammy-Sham just jumped into my lap to sleep--he's just the bestest little dog.

So, I'm trying.  I'll still scrap whatever, whenever, however I want, but I'll attempt to be more vigilant about sharing it with all those big magazine people and just see what happens.  After all, I have nothing to lose.

I think I can, I think I can...

Dance Party...

So, there's been a little bead phenomenon going on around my house these last few weeks.  Tonight, horror of horrors, I ran out of toggles and HAD to make a run to Michaels...you know how it is, those toggle emergencies?  It's kind of like an adhesive emergency and we've all had those, right? :)

You're asking what does this have to do with dancing?  Well, let me share...

I have an I-pod.  I love my I-pod.  McIntosh loves my I-pod.  I am now his personal DJ.  We rock out to all different kinds of stuff on the drive home from his school most afternoons.  There's nothing better than that kid dancing like a mad man from the confines of his car seat...just love to see it in my rear-view mirror. :)

Well, tonight Sean was along for the ride.  It all started with discussing Mac's different nicknames...he was going through them all.  He told me his teacher calls him "Macster" or "Mac & Cheese"...cute, huh?  I think I need to follow in her footsteps with the Macster idea.  He said he likes Macerena as a nickname...so we had to listen to the "Macerena" all the while practicing the dance routine that accompanies it. 

After that all hell broke loose.  We went on to "Mambo #5" and by the time we stopped at the gas station it was on...we were dancing fools with music blasting...Sean was thrilled.  "Boogie Shoes" was next (thanks again t) and our grand finale, as we pulled in our driveway, was Gwen Stephani's "Rich Girl".  The neighbors must have thought we were nuts if they happened to peek out their windows to see what all the noise was, they'd have seen the three of us all around the driveway in the conga line Mac insisted on.  We got down with our bad selves.  We were brick houses...mighty, mighty letting it all hang out.  It was major good times. :)

..."if I were a rich girl, na na na na..."

You know what, I am a rich girl...I've just got the best little family.

Baby Bailey...

"The kid is here" my Dad said when he called me a few minutes ago.  I had to get off the phone since the bus was here to pick Mac up for school. 

I guess the C-section went fine, she weighed, "I don't know 7-6 something", and he didn't get any pictures.

It's sad that I said a silent prayer as I was putting Mac on the bus...a prayer that my dad takes advantage of his chance to do fatherhood better this time.  God obviously thought this little girl should come into this world and hopefully my dad will truly appreciate that.

I hope and pray that she's not told that she's "stupid" when she struggles with her math homework.  That she's never smacked on the head with a rolled up copy of National Geographic. That she's appreciated and cherished for who she is...even if that means she's not that adventurous or athletic.

I hope she has the kind of father I've had the past few years.  One who has apologized for those kind of things I mentioned above, who tells me how proud his is of me and what it is I do in this world. 

My dad has a chance to be caring and good to Bailey every minute of her life starting today.  A chance to thank God for every ounce of that "7-6 something" pounds.

I also hope I can find someway to be a sister to her.  Just fourteen days shy of 29 years separate us in age and about 2000 miles of distance...hopefully family ties can stretch that far.

So, my family grew this morning.  Mac has a new aunt, Sean has a new sister-in-law.  She's laying in a hospital bassinet in Oklahoma City...full of hope and promise.

Good times...

So...I've been sharing a little bit about some of the bead shopping I've been doing, so I figured I'd better share that I'm actually using them...especially since I bought a whole bunch more this afternoon. :) 

Tonight I made a turquoise and green necklace, an orange & pink necklace and a little multi colored bracelet...and might I say it was sooooo very much fun. (sorry the picture is pretty horrible though)

Attempting these little bead creations made for the end of a great night tonight.  I actually cooked dinner... just threw together some hamburgers to barbecue and had tater-tots, but it was better than sending Sean for take-out...again. 

After dinner Sean, Mac, and I went for a walk. It was perfect walking weather, there was such a great cool breeze blowing.  Tonight was a rite of passage...usually Mac is pushed in the jogging stroller, all cuddled in PJ's and a blanket, but tonight he rode his bike all the way on our little trek through our neighborhood...it was so cool to see him ride ahead of us. 

When we got back to the house I sat out on the porch with the laptop while Sean and Mac played "tennis-baseball" in addition to some basketball game they've also devised.  Then Mac had me help swing the jump-rope to see if Sean could jump and dribble a basketball at the same time...he couldn't. :)

I am so grateful for this past weekend...it's been filled with family & friends...beads & scrapbook supplies...good food & good times.   

Friday afternoon...

Friday has always been my most favorite day of the week...the time just after school is the best...the whole weekend is before your eyes.  This is especially good Friday afternoon around the Griffin household...no reason in particular...we're just hanging out.

I'm futzing (that's a word, right?) with a layout just for fun...alphabet stamps have thrown up all over my desk as you can see

Mac is preparing for cheerleading practice in his room, I think.  He's proud of his new stick he made with construction paper and a wrapping paper tube--he told me it's for twirling

Sean's washing the cars...mine is filthy from our drive up and down from Big Bear last weekend so it thrills me to no end that it's getting all clean and shiny

I just had a big 'ole box of beads arrive on my porch from a cool on-line store...can't wait to dive into these...I got a lot of turquoise which in my new favorite color

So...that's the exciting update around here.  I think my mom's going to come over later and we're going to have some pizza for dinner and head out to a scrapbook store...gotta love Fridays. :)

Relaxed and Happy...

I was thinking tonight, as I finally come out of the migraine I had all day yesterday and most of today, of what truly makes me happy and relaxed...

1. Spending time with Mac and Sean...just having them around the house makes it feel even more like home (except when they're arguing over homework--that's not so relaxing...or happy)

2. Creating something...even though I was feeling less than stellar I still needed to make an altered letter "K" that I bought at Pottery Barn Kids months ago for part of a baby shower gift for my friend this Saturday.  I have to admit I'm not thrilled with it but it did feel good to get it done.  I also made a birthday card for my sister-in-law so it can be off in the mail with a GAP gift-card...not a minute too soon since it needs to get to Iowa by Sunday...I know, it's not going to happen

3. Getting stuff organized...the house was a mass of messiness earlier tonight and now there's just a couple of piles.  It makes me feel so much more at ease.  Nothing's better than having everything in it's place and lots of little tasks done...I'm a big dork like that

4. Food...there's a reason my hips are so wide...it makes me happy...I have the worst eating habits...but it's just sooo good!  Sean brought me home a box full of my favorite  See's Candy when he went to get the fore-mentioned GAP gift-card at the mall...I'll I can say is mmmmmmmmmmmm

5. Orgas......well I shouldn't really talk about those in a blog, huh?  But if we're talking about happy and relaxing...they certainly fit the bill. Okay, well now that you think I'm a big 'ole weirdo I'm going to bed. ;)   

Ilk...

I'm so lucky that my mom and I are of the same ilk.  What's "ilk" you ask?  It's okay, I asked too when she used it in a sentence at some point in our 1 hour & 51 minute phone call that ended a second ago.  She told me ilk means a type of person or breed. 

Of course she doubled checked herself with her with her handy dandy dictionary expansion card on her palm pilot...the only thing she really uses her palm pilot for.

I love my mom.  She is the coolest person you'll ever meet.  Smartest, funniest, most thoughtful & understanding.  I could just go on and on.  I love that we have so much in common, not that I could ever measure up to all her amazing attributes.   

I tried to get her to convince her again tonight she needs to write a book.  I have this, self-proclaimed, awesome idea that she should write a book about the things she's gone through in her life and then go back and give psychological advice on those subjects.  She has such a unique vantage point having had so many incredible life challenges yet being able to have the psychological expertise to analyze and share practical solutions.  Add in her ability to be exceptionally articulate and altogether hysterically funny...it would just be a great read.

She is the most astounding psychologist...she is down to earth, unassuming, good humored.  If I could, I'd give everyone her card.  She would never give herself credit for it but she has helped countless people over the years overcome so much turmoil.  She's just pleasant and fun...not one of those wishy-washy, soft spoken, "tell me how that makes you feel" kind of therapists. 

I don't even know where all this is going...it's way past my bedtime but I just had to get this down. 

I'm so lucky to be her daughter. 

I'm so lucky to have had her in my life as an example of how to be a good person. 

I am so lucky that she's my best friend too. 

I'm just so lucky we're of the same ilk.

Good God

I am soooo happy to be home, my stomach's full from my favorite Chinese food restaurant, I'm all unpacked, took a looong hot shower, and am in my gloriously comfy bed.

I could write ten pages about the retreat this weekend but instead here are just a few things that popped into my head to summarize the weekend...

...we found out about a minute before leaving that two kids from our group weren't coming on retreat with us and instead we had two others we didn't know

...I said A LOT of bad words driving up the mountain about the exceptional planning and communication about our group changes

...it was 36 degrees when we got up to Big Bear

...the bunk bed cots were just as horrible as I remembered...however I was ever so lucky to snag one that didn't result in the bright red "Exit" shining in my face all night long...but I couldn't sleep anyway

...it snowed...a tiny freak snow storm and when we woke up on Saturday it was beautiful

...Sean & I both gave talks on Saturday morning and, thankfully, they both went over well

...the food was pretty darn good...the cook did an amazing job of making everything really flavorful...I went back to the kitchen to ask her for cooking tips

...our kids really did a great job...we were worried on Friday night...the two new kids in our group were great additions

...I didn't kill "Mr. Catholic" (this other team leader who thinks he's holier than thou) although I almost killed myself listening to his 40+ minute talk on what a great Catholic he is

...I have to pat myself on the back that I was able to stay neutral when our group discussed issues in the church I feel passionate about...but then I had to sit down & tell our little free-thinking, liberal dynamo in our group that I agreed with her completely and that I wanted her to know she wasn't alone in her beliefs

...our group's cleaning assignment before we left today was the girls bathroom...everyone hung in there and helped...at least we didn't have the boys bathroom

I guess I should have more profound, religious awakening type of thoughts to share but I'm too tired for anything other than mundane and random.  Good night. :)

My bags are packed...

I have about one minute before I have to shut down the computer and take off to the mountains with our little group of teenagers for the Confirmation Retreat in Lake Arrowhead.  Wish me luck... :)

Electricity

You never really appreciate it until it's gone.

I'm sitting on Mac's bed, on the laptop, plugged into the only easy to reach phone line in the house.  The power in our house went out about a half hour ago.  Apparently it's out for the entire neighborhood.  A couple people across the street said they heard some kind of explosion.  The electric company said if a transformer blew it'll be two or three hours.

All I have to say is thank God for the laptop and cell phone.  Otherwise I'd be climbing the silent walls.  I am not a fan of silence.  I need to have some kind of noise...preferably music...I have I-tunes playing on my laptop now & it is saving my sanity.

Here's the fun part.  I've been trying to get stuff done today so I haven't really eaten and now I can't open the fridge in the hopes that we can save the food we just bought at the grocery store last night if it stays completely closed (I've threatened Mac's life if he opens it).  I also haven't taken a shower.  I'm supposed to go out tonight and I'm going to be looking pretty scary when I've gotten a minute long shower in an attempt to not run out of the hot water sitting in the water heater and air dried hair is not something I can pull off. 

So, now that I've gone on and on complaining please keep your fingers crossed that the power will be back on before the battery on my laptop runs out.  Off to call the electric company to see of they know anything yet...

Isn't it Romantic?

The grocery store that is. 

I realized tonight I love grocery shopping with Sean...just the two of us.  Mac is at his dad's tonight (I've already gotten two phone calls from him to tell me he had a bloody nose and doesn't want us to go on retreat this weekend because of his book report...once I explained we wouldn't be gone all week he said, "Oh, okay, bye" and hung up. Then he called back & left a message while Sean and I were out walking with the dogs.  I always save any message from Mac on the machine until he's back home with me.--I'm digressing here)

Back to the grocery store...Sean & I walk close to each other, chatting, picking out what we need and what we don't necessarily need (sour gummy worms).  We kiss in the empty pickle aisle.  I find the new specialty cheese section and spend ten dollars on blocks of Parmesan and Romano ...he teases me ruthlessly about buying ten dollars worth of cheese. 

Then he's shaking his head wondering why I am going through 10 different packs of Hawaiian Bread Rolls I told him, "I'm trying to find the best expiration date. Do you just want me to waste money?"  He can't stop laughing that the girl who just spent $100+ dollars today on scrapbooking supplies and beads is now lecturing him on saving money. :)

I tease Sean about asking the guy holding two items behind us in line, "Is that all you have?" checking before he told him to just go in front of us in line.  "No, Sean, he has an overflowing cart of groceries around the corner too"...the guy with two items was laughing with me.  Sean gave me the special look he saves just for me (most people call it glaring) and says, "How much did you spend on cheese?" 

Isn't it romantic? 

Or maybe the better question is, why is it exactly that I think this is romantic? :)

My old ways...

I just looked up at the clock and saw that it was almost 2am.  I am such a night person, but during the school year I try to behave and get to bed by midnight at the latest.  However, when I'm on Christmas vacation or Spring break I quickly revert to my old ways. 

I stay up a little later each night and wake up a little later each morning.  Next thing I know...it's 2am and I'm not even tired. 

My official Spring break is actually over, but I'm still home since Mac is off of school for his break this week.  He leaves for his Dad's house tomorrow night so I'll be at work this Wednesday and Thursday...so I'd better figure out a way to break this habit fast. Otherwise, I'll be nodding off in Mrs. Powell's history class right along with the students. :) 

Nights like this make count the minutes till Summer when I can stay up till the wee hours and sleep in the morning...that is until it's time for Mac's swimming lesson in the late morning.  It's so much more relaxed and carefree.  I really count my blessings that I have a schedule that has me off of work this much.

For now, though, I really better get to bed...goodnight.

There are no words...

There are no words to really describe the magic of Camp. Well, maybe there are a few that can start to give you an idea...

super fun/constant smiles/1000's of hugs/cheering & singing & dancing/every mundane task is fun/old friends/amazing teamwork/hanging out/never-ending party/hard work/best time ever in your life...EVER

We have been volunteering at a camp for adults with metal disabilities for years now...it's one week of heaven every summer.  It's the week Sean and I work the hardest, get the smallest amount of sleep ever, and have the time of our life.  I was put in charge of Journal class nine years ago and I turned it into a time for the campers to make a scrapbook about their week at camp. 

Last year the directors decided to also host two weekend a year to have a little mini-camp.  Yesterday Sean, Mac and I were there all day.  We went to see a movie, went bowling, and had a dance at night. 

We get to experience the change in the room when the first camper arrives, the joy on everyones faces.  Even my mom is in on it now, she helps as one of the nurses checking the campers in.  I can't help but smile every time she sits down with a camper and their parents or family members to discuss any new special needs we might need to know about and all the inner working of their medications.  She's a natural...hugging everybody...goofing around...just being a part of Camp.

Mac is a natural too...we always lose track of him when we're there, when we turn around he's letting a camper squeeze him to death...hanging out with them and their counselors...just being a part of Camp.   

Sean comes completely out of his shell...he dances and cheers with the best of them.  He puts his endless patience to good use when a camper is being stubborn.  He works so hard behind the scenes...washing every single tray from 60 people eating dinner last night before I even had the chance to notice.

I have been the one at Camp since I graduated from high school...this is my twelve year.  I can remember every camper's name as they walk through the door, even though I am terrible at remembering names.  I know their families, their favorite things to do, whether they like noise or not, what kind of music certain campers will want played all day long, which ones are happy to have you just sit on the sidelines with them instead of being in the middle of the action.  I know that each and everyone of them are the most magical people I have ever come in contact with...they love instantaneously and unconditionally.

Camp has been such a gift, one I thought would be over this summer since we had planned on having a baby by now. Running the kind of class I do wouldn't be a possibility with a baby in my arms...I couldn't give it my all and Camp is all about giving everything you've got to give.

So, no baby means we get to go to Camp again! Sean, Mac and I will be there the last week of June with bells on...maybe literally-costumes are a big part of the fun. 

The theme for this summer is Super Heros...one of the harder ones to come with scrapbook ideas and supplies...but Sean & I are already putting our heads together and are up to the challenge..though any ideas are always welcome. :)

It just makes me so happy...

It's relatively simple and a lot of people probably take it for granted, but I have to say that every time I hear this thing rev up I can't help but smile.

Today was the first hot day here in Southern California.  I was outside taking pictures of Sean and Mac planting a garden in the corner of our backyard and our air conditioner kicked on so I had to take a picture of it, right?  Yes, I know I'm crazy.

The thing is we just got air conditioning in our house last summer.  We lived for four years without it...it was the only aspect of the house that drove us nuts...with the high ceilings the heat could become torturous in the summer and well into the fall.

We took a home equity loan last year to get all new windows and doors, an attic fan, ceiling fans in our bedrooms, and air conditioning. We went all out to cool this house down...we actually got two separate AC units since there is such a disparity in temperature on our first and second floors.  The first time it kicked on I literally cried I was so happy.  I never knew I could appreciate cold air so much. 

Now if I see predictions of a heat wave on the news I don't have to worry about a thing...well, maybe just the electric bill.